So I realized that even though I think most of what I write is total shit, it's not going to get any better unless I actually, you know, write. So I'm just going to write in here every time I think of something to write about, and hopefully my writing will improve. Plus it's not like a ton of people will read this anyway.
I guess also part of it is I've been feeling pretty uninspired lately. Usually I carry around a journal everywhere I go and jot down anything that comes to mind, but that hasn't been happening lately. I've been pretty preoccupied by work and when I'm not working I just want to lay around and do nothing. Lately I guess I've just been going through the motions of living. I don't think I'm depressed though. I mean not any more depressed than any of the other 20-somethings I know who don't have much direction and are still figuring out what they're doing with their lives. So I've figured that it's normal to feel like this, since pretty much everyone I know feels like this. But what I want to know is when the hell does it stop feeling like this.
Don't really know how this turned into another "pity party about my life" post but these are the things I think about at 2 in the morning. I think I'll make it a point to write more this week. About whatever.
This weekend I've found myself listening to a lot of new music (new to me at least), which has been pretty cool, since I haven't been this active at seeking out new music since I worked for UT's radio station KVRX. Through my random clicking and Youtube watching, I found Yadi, and I've been playing her song "Guillotine" on repeat all weekend. So before I go to bed I leave you with this. Night.
I think I was going through something similar. I work, and then all I do is relax. Sometimes I go do something fun, but not til the weekend.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a big reason why I got a dog; I'm still in a similar funk, and I might have even gone backwards a bit (I almost started dating, and then I got flaky/used the dog as an excuse).
When it stops? I don't know. Maybe you need to add a little chaos, or make some sort of change in your life.
Anyway. What kind of stuff are you writing in your journal? Maybe it'd be helpful to make lists in it, and go from there. Maybe you can make a list of questions that you think about on the subway. Or make a list of 5 (or however many) beautiful things you saw that day. Or 5 things that make you sad. Or, if you could do _______, what would you do? Maybe you can create these kinds of lists during your commute. Then you can refer to these lists/(brainstorms, whatever), and write when you're feeling good, or just want to write.
Feelings and anything sensory are both good points of inspiration for me. I think about "what ifs" a lot as well, so I dunno, that's something I'd write about.
Anyway, hope you find the inspiration to write more somewhere, and if anything, I hope I was somewhat helpful. Love you with all of my heart <3